Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Silent Cal

In my never-ending quest to be ignored by celebrities — see Tony Kornheiser, below — I recently wrote a letter to Cal Ripken.

Unlike my letter to Tony the K, I had a legitimate business reason for writing Cal: I wanted to ask if he'd consider writing the forward for a book I edited about playing fantasy baseball. (The agent suggested that a forward by a well-known athlete would make it easier to interest a publisher.)

The first issue was finding Cal. He has a number of business interests, and each has its own address. Which one would most likely reach him? I eventually decided to try Ripken Baseball in downtown Baltimore, thinking that was probably his main office.

I'm sure a request for Cal to lend his name to an unknown author, sent by an unknown person, went right to the top of the Show This to Cal Immediately list. Did I mention there's no money in it for Cal?

Should Cal's reply be what I expect — that is to say, none — he will join the ranks of my other favorite Cal, Calvin Coolidge, the 30th president of the United States (and the only president born on the 4th of July). Known as Silent Cal for his economic use of words, Coolidge was once approached at a party by a woman who confided that she had bet someone she could get the president to say three words. His reply: "You lose."

That would be two words more than I expect to receive.

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