Hey, Mack

Our kids love, love, love American Idol. During the show, our teenaged daughter can't read and reply to her text messages fast enough, and I bet 25% of our dinner table arguments revolve around who should or shouldn't win (most of the others revolve around rules, bedtimes or allowances).

To be filed in the Everything Old Is New Again category, how is this show different from Ted Mack and Arthur Godfrey, and their amateur hours from 50+ years ago? Here's how they're different: during their runs, Mack and Godfrey presented Lenny Bruce, Pat Boone, Tony Bennett, Patsy Cline, Roy Clark — though Elvis, apparently, failed his audition — whom I have to believe will outlast most of the Idol folks. (Yes, I know that not all of those folks were amateurs when they were on the shows.)

Unfortunately, Idol and its imitators are glorified karaoke, presenting only singers, often histrionic, overwrought singers. (Sorry if I sound old.) You know what I'd like to see? The real amateurs: the jugglers, plate spinners, cat trainers and people who can twist their bodies into pretzel shapes. The people who would get embarrassed when their parents urged them to perform for the adults at a cocktail party. The ones who spent more time on their "talents" than their outfits.

That's the reality show I'd watch: America's Got Talent. Plate Spinning Talent.