Sam The Sham

No doubt you've read (though hopefully not experienced) all sorts of Internet scams and cheats involving real looking fake sites that entice you to give your credit card info, shill bidders on eBay, and foreign widows who want to give you the $60 million that their late husband stashed in a Swiss bank account. (And rich widows are in such short supply these days.)

But I've found the newest, and potentially cleverest, scam going: bunk beds.

I put a set of bunk beds on sale on Craigslist yesterday, and within an hour I had four people saying they were interested. Three wanted to come see them, but the fourth had a different idea.

Mark Edwards lamented that he was "interested in buying from you," but unfortunately, "I would love to come check it myself, but I just got married and am presently on a honeymoon trip to Hawaii with my wife."

So he wants to "come check it" — Isn't that what you do on a honeymoon? — but is in Hawaii and, when the endless hours of surfing, volcano climbing and sipping drinks on the beach begin to drag, he thinks about — no, he yearns for — bunk beds. I don't know about you, but my honeymoon didn't involve bunk beds, in thoughts or in reality.

But why let a honeymoon in Hawaii interrupt the purchase of bunk beds for you and your lovely bride? Mark Edwards is a resourceful man, and here's his idea. He'll have his secretary mail me a certified check for $200, which is $50 more than my asking price, and then his mover will come pick up the bed from us. (Since the bed was taken apart this morning, I think his secretary could come pick it up if she had an SUV or a minivan.)

All I have to do is give him my name, address and phone number, and take the "advert" — Mr. Edwards sounds little British — of the Web.

No doubt the mover and bed would be long gone when Mr. Edwards' "certified check" bounces sky high.

I'm afraid that if Mr. Edwards' lovely bride has her heart set on bunk beds, she'll have to look elsewhere. It is possible, I suppose, for someone who can afford to honeymoon in Hawaii to be able to afford brand new bunk beds from anyone of a number furniture stores, but maybe the price of coconuts has risen faster than I thought.

Still, Mr. Edwards' poignant ending does bring a little tear to the eye and a catch to the throat. "I would love," he writes, "a surprise change of furniture in our home on our return."

I would say that bunk beds, particularly from his new wife's point of view, certainly qualify.