Stars And Stripes And Dogs And Ponies

I was reminded at a client pitch meeting this morning about the best dog and pony show I've ever seen. I doubt it will ever be topped.

I was a copywriter at an ad agency, with a bank called 1st American Bank as a client. Although we handled all of the bank's advertising, and had some very talented graphic designers on our staff, the bank had decided to hire a high powered design firm to design their new logo. The bank wouldn't allow us to have anything to do with the project, but invited the creative team to the logo presentation meeting to give our "input."

The bank was paying $20,000 for this logo, probably 10 times what we would have charged.

One the appointed day three of us from the agency went to the bank to see this new logo presented. The head of the design firm was a walking cliche: in his 50s, gray hair pulled back into a pony tail, pierced ear, all black outfit, black Porsche. The client was impressed. It was all I could do not to laugh.

Members of the design firm launched into a film and slide presentation about the bank's rich heritage, its quintessential American-ness, and a bunch of other stuff. My two co-workers and I are trying not to look at each other or roll our eyes. The client group, which was all upper management, was eating it up.

Finally Mr. Porsche unveiled the new logo: an oversized number 1, an "s" with two lines through it, and a "t." The room was silent.

The lines through the "s," he explained, symbolized a flag waving in the breeze, proud and strong, like the flag Francis Scott Key saw when the British were shelling Fort McHenry. I'm trying so hard not to laugh that I'm turning red. The bank guys are nodding and smiling. They love it!

I'm staring at the logo, trying to see why it's worth $20,000. Am I missing something? It looks like something a first year design student might knock off in 15 minutes (and get a D on the project). Mr. Porsche keeps shoveling BS, and the bank guys keep eating it. I'm praying no one asks our opinion, because I can see that my coworkers have the same opinion I do.

Oh, and the $20,000? That was just for the logo. To put it on letterhead, envelopes, business cards, etc. was extra. The bank guys were happy to pay it.

The bank is long out of business, but that's not the punch line. This is: the bank was Arab owned. There wasn't a single American among the owners.

Great show, though.