WWJCD

You've seen the WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) bracelets and bumper stickers, and you could probably do worse than ask yourself that question before making a difficult decision. (Where would Jesus spend his economic stimulus check?)

But today I saw a much better bumper sticker, which, in the immortal words of Dave Barry, I am not making up:

WWJCD

No doubt you've already figured out that that's an acronym for What Would Johnny Cash Do.

This is a much more difficult question, because the Man in Black's life went from the depths of drug addiction and incarceration to the heights of fame, fortune and deep religious faith.

There is, of course, a long list of "What Would ____________ Do" bracelets, t-shirts and bumper stickers — shot glasses, too, for all I know — and I'm sure there's someone somewhere who is collecting them all. I don't even intend to try.

I have to admit my Johnny Cash collection is rather thin — a greatest hits CD is it — but i know three things:

If I ever get a job sweeping the floor in a Cadillac factory I plan to sweep out enough parts to build my own.

I'll never name a boy Sue (or a girl, for that matter).

If I'm ever in Reno, I'll shoot a man. You know why.