Doppelganger

I occasionally get emails meant for another person with my name, who assume that my first initial and last name at Gmail is this other guy. (My name isn't very common.) Today I received the best email yet.

The subject line consisted of only three letters: "wtf." The opening sentence: "Whatup dude."

I knew right away the email wasn't meant for me.

My other me was wished well (apparently I'm leaving a job or a place, I couldn't tell which). I was asked how long it took me to get used to my CPAP machine, told about a traffic stop where the writer had avoided a ticket, and asked how my wife was doing. (Fine, thanks.)

I was asked if I felt antsy about leaving (no) and told I was missed and that my name was "invoked every time there is free food." I guess that's a compliment.

Then came the heavy stuff: "my unsolicited, uninformed opinion is that you may have a pill addiction and it could possibly be underlying a lot of your issues, at least since Yvonne."

Oh boy, am I in denial. I had no idea I had a bad pill habit. Nor can I quite recall Yvonne. Guess I was so wasted on pills I didn't get her name. Or something.

It gets better: "At the same time, I feel like a HUGE hypocrite telling you that because I really enjoyed the pills you gave me and I wish you were here to give me more."

Now, actually, I think he feels like a huge idiot for sending this email to the wrong person.

I can't wait to see who writes me next. I just get more interesting by the minute.