Little Pisser

Should you ever have children, or if you have a baby or two in the house, here's my advice: keep a close eye on your coffee. Especially if you have a boy. Especially especially if you're suffering from extreme sleep deprivation.

When our son, Adam, was born, he was our second child, following his sister by 19 months. We were sure that with all of our baby memories so fresh there would be no surprises with Adam.

There was one.

We had a changing table in his room and early one morning my wife, Sarah, had him on the table and was changing his diaper. He was, at only a couple of weeks old, significantly smaller than the table top, so Sarah had plenty of room for both Adam and her cup of coffee on the table. It was safely out of the way of his feet, so no worries about spilling.

Spilling, as it turned out, wasn't the danger.

If you've ever changed an infant boy's diaper, you probably know what Sarah learned that morning: when cool air hits that boy's penis, he's going to pee. In Adam's case, it was a perfect arc that landed dead center in her coffee cup.

Luckily she saw it, though at first she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Adam looked proud and, given his aim, he had every right to be.

Sadly, when we were potty training him his aim didn't turn out to be quite as good. Then again, he wasn't aiming for a coffee cup.