When my wife and I were dating she waited until the relationship was solid — in fact, until we got engaged — to introduce me to her Aunt Hody. I'd been warned about Aunt Hody's attitude and nastiness by every other in-law, so I thought I knew what to expect.
In her 80s, confined to a bed in a nursing home by a broken hip, Hody has lost much of her hearing and eyesight, and even the ability to feed herself. But her tongue was as sharp as ever.
After greeting her, my wife-to-be introduced me: "Hody, this is my fiance, David." Hody's greeting: "Are you cross-eyed?"
My wife-to-be was horrified. "Hody, does he look cross-eyed?" she sputtered, unsure of what to say. "Yes, he does," was the reply.
I thought the whole thing was pretty funny. If I was cross-eyed, Hody was certainly the first person who'd mentioned it.
The second incident happened during the first Christmas dinner with my future in-laws. Knowing that cherry pie was (and is) my favorite dessert, my (sadly now, late) future mother-in-law had made a cherry pie as one of the desserts. My future father-in-law, a sometimes gruff sort (retired Air Force colonel) also loved cherry pie. We each had a slice.
After dinner he and I were the only ones left at the table, finishing our coffee, as everyone else drifted out of the room. My future mother-in-law came into the dining room, noticed there was one slice of cherry pie left, and asked me if I'd like it. Before I could reply, my father-in-law answered for me: "He doesn't want it."
I guess I didn't.
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