Furry Friend

If your office holiday parties are boring, do what I do: rent a gorilla suit.

Several years ago I worked for a company that was bought by a competitor. The first holiday party after the acquisition was deadly dull: everyone clustered with their immediate co-workers and talked shop. No one from any department talked to anyone from any other department. No one from the new company talked to anyone from the old company. The venue was fancy, the food was great, the party was boring.

The following year the company hadn't lost any of its cliquishness. The holiday party had every indication of being another deadly dull affair. Someone, I thought, had to do something to liven up the party. I nominated myself.

At the best costume shop in town I rented a gorilla costume — not some cheap kid's Halloween costume, but an expensive, authentic model. From what little I could see through the eye holes when I tried it on at home, I looked smashing.

Wiggling into the costume in my car outside the party was no easy task. But once inside it was worth it.

Heads turned. People laughed. The entire atmosphere of the party (100+ people) changed.

Unfortunately, I hadn't counted on the fact that the head allowed me no peripheral vision whatsoever. I could barely see right in front of me, let alone to the sides. I'd turn to the side and knock a tray out of a passing server's hands. I knocked over a couple of chairs and a couple of people. The more I moved, the more chaos I created. Servers were making wide paths to avoid me as they carried trays of drinks and finger food. I started to sweat, and not just because I was covered in fur.

Meanwhile, no one knew who was inside the costume. Not having much of a reputation as a jokester at the company, everyone who spoke to me guessed I was someone else. It was only my anonymity, I thought, that was protecting me from getting fired. But I was there, the damage was done, and I thought I'd see how it all played out.

A couple of hours into the party the president of the company, a very serious man who hadn't said 10 words to me in the year and half I'd worked for him, came up to me. He asked me to take off my gorilla head so he could talk to me.

"How much did this costume cost you?" he asked me. I told him. "Put it on your expense account. This is the best holiday party we've ever had."

I bet the servers didn't think so.