Pay to Play

I've had pretty good luck with ATMs over the years. In fact, they've been pretty profitable.

There was the time I withdrew $100 from my checking account using the ATM at the bank across the street from my office (not my bank) and according to the receipt my account had $30,000+ in it. This was off by at least a couple of zeros. I went in and asked our comptroller, who was a friend of mine, if I'd get in trouble if I withdrew that money and later claimed I thought it was mine. "Well," he said, "you'd have to show that you had a reasonable expectation of thinking that money was yours. Is $30,000 the average amount you have in your checking account?"

The answer was obvious. I left the money where it was. A few hours later when I checked my balance it was in the hundreds, where it belonged.

Another time, I walked up to an ATM, got out my card and noticed there was already a card in the slot. Apparently, someone had forgotten to take his card. I called the number on the back (it was the Navy Federal Credit Union — why do I remember that, of all things?) but it was in the evening and no one answered. Thinking I wanted him to get his card back, I figured I'd put it in the ATM, enter the wrong PIN a few times and the machine would keep his card. The bank employees would retrieve it (and, I thought, return it) in the morning.

I inserted his card and punched "1234" in as the PIN. "1234" turned out to be his PIN. I could have drained his account. In a panic, I cancelled the transaction, took out his card and cut it up. In retrospect, I should have noted his name and called his credit union the next day to tell them that he should change his PIN.

But the real profitable incident came a couple of years ago, when I stopped at a bank on my way to work at 8:50 to withdraw some cash. I asked for $40, but the machine gave me $140, though the receipt only showed $40. thinking I'd be honest, and noticing there were employees in the bank, I knocked on the locked door to return the extra $100. The employees pointed at the clock on the wall, to show me that the bank didn't open until 9. Insistent, I banged on the door and waved the $100 bill. The employees, no doubt thinking I wanted to complain that the ATM had shortchanged me, pointed at the clock equally insistently. I tried to mime that I wanted to give them the $100 bill, but apparently my miming skills weren't good enough. After trying for five minutes to give them back their money, I gave up. They didn't want their money? Fine, I'd keep it.

That bank is now out of business. Though I doubt my $100 exploit was the reason.